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B for Bush
by Michael J. Lombardi
August 15, 2006

Having just viewed “V for Vendetta”, I feel stirred to release my own cinematic masterpiece, entitled “B for Bush Did It”. In this gripping saga, B is suffering abysmal poll numbers less than a year after stealing the presidential election of 2000. A senator from his own party has defected and become an independent who votes against anything even remotely Bush League, thus rendering the latter as impotent in the halls of Congress as he has always been when forced to compete in an unfixed game. The people of America have clearly and accurately identified the Bush presidency as their true and mortal enemy. What’s a B to do?

Obviously, he needs to scare them into believing that they need him for their very existence. This is a tall order, seeing how much those same people despise him for impoverishing them and their descendents for generations, which he has done by giving away their money to his rich homies. It will take a dramatic moment unparalleled in American history. On September 11 (always remember, the 11th of September), a day which matches the American phone number for deadly peril, B commissions the hijacking of four airliners; two to hit the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York, which will provide the most terrifying spectacle and should of itself get those wise guy working and middle class Americans in line; one to hit the Capitol Building (that’ll teach ‘em not to give me what I want) and one to hit the White House itself (to throw everybody off the scent). B has taken precautions to make sure that he and “C” will be out of the Executive Mansion that day. It will be glorious. The American people will soil themselves and make B dictator for life when all of this has been accomplished.

The plan has limited although still remarkable success. One of the planes bound for D.C. hits the Pentagon instead of the Capitol dome, and the other is heroically brought down by its own passengers before it can obliterate the White House. But the Twin Towers crash into powder most satisfyingly. B wins most of what he wants. B overreaches, however, as he always does, starting a war in the Middle East he cannot win; he is, after all, an incompetent who has always lived on the largess of his family and their rich and influential friends. His domestic initiatives are soundly rejected. He is almost back where he started five years before, a "lame dud" again. He needs another moment, and he needs it before the elections in November.

I know, he says with a sudden leer. I'll get “T” over in England to fake another airliner plot, an attempted hijacking of ten planes this time. And after that, I’ll…

See the thrilling sequel, “B is for Bush Destroys Half of America to Stay in Power”, opening soon at a theater QUITE near you.

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