Our President holds up a chart showing that if you stood up the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool on its side, it would be taller than the Empire State Building!
Our President holds up a chart showing that if you stood up the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool on its side, it would be taller than the Empire State Building!
But apparently, no one told Trump that if you stood the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool on its side, ALL THE WATER WOULD RUN OUT!
And now he wants to paint Lincoln’s pond blue. Don’t complain, he could have demanded we paint the Potomac River blue.
I suspect Trump’s idea of turning the reflecting pool blue comes from the toilets at Trump Tower that have that blue stuff in the bowls which, Trump says, is “very classy.”
In fact, instead of this multi-million dollar paint job, why don’t they just throw some of those Tidy-Bowl tablets into Lincoln’s reflecting pool. He won’t mind. He’s dead. They didn’t have blue stuff in his day.*
Can you imagine what Lincoln’s thinking right now? He’s thinking, “Damn, I always wanted a toilet-bowl blue reflecting pool. And I always wanted a ballroom! With bullet-proof glass. If I had that, I’d still be President today! So, blow my head off Mt. Rushmore and put this guy’s combover in my place.”
[*A true fact: Most Americans don’t know that in 1853, President Millard Fillmore installed the first indoor flushing toilet in the White House. That’s a fact! British entrepreneur Thomas Crapper is remembered today for his water closet — truer than true. For a while after Fillmore’s bold installation, Americans would say, “I have to take a Fillmore,” and, as a result, no American child has been “Millard” since, which is not true at all. Blue stuff was first used in toilets by the Navy in World War II — and that is truly true!]
But, are you ready for this? If the White House were stood on its side, at a dinky 168’ across, it would only fill up one twelfth of the reflecting pool. Is that a fact? You betcha!
In fact, if you turned Mt. Rushmore on its side, whose four presidential heads are only 400 feet wide from Washington’s right eye to Lincoln’s left. So you’d have to add 16 more President heads to fill up the Trump’s really big pool. Yes, that’s also so true it’s a fact.
[Note: Photo of Trump falling asleep while showing off his really big pool, provided by the White House. We used AI to add the White House for illustration purposes only. And, if you look carefully, to show JD Vance falling out the Oval Office window into the reflecting pond when the While House is upended.]
So, why am I talking like this? Because, while the world turns and burns, your President is turning Lincoln’s pool into a cesspool of narcissism. It is another monument to an oblivious wannabe potentate who watches coldly as America floats face down in his moral toilet.
So, what are you going to do about it?
The Palast Investigative Fund has launched a Save Your Vote campaign with Black Voters Matter Fund and RainbowPUSH anchored by 6 short videos that we know we can reach MILLIONS to reverse purges and other attacks on voters of color to bend the 2026 elections. We are not-for-profit and non-partisan so it requires you to step up — sign up for a couple dollars a month and I’ll send you cool, personalized, signed premiums as thanks. And I really do thank you for all these years off support. – Greg