Orange Chicken in the Food Cart

Imagine you are sitting on an airplane and preparing for takeoff. As the plane is taxiing down the runway, the flight attendant comes along and tells you that deranged Iranian terrorists are planning to take out another passenger who is booked on your flight, but that passenger made an escape to another plane, and you are being used as a decoy. How would you feel about that? Now imagine that the flight attendant never told you this information, and you didn't find out you were a decoy until over a month later. I bet that would make you feel like chopped liver.

Last month, Trump flew on the brand new Air Force One donated by Qatar to a NATO Summit in Turkey. Trump wanted to show off the new plane to other world leaders. But while at the Summit, the Secret Service discovers through our Israeli allies that Iran is planning to take Trump out, and not out to Mickey D's for Big Macs. And they may target him while he's on the brand new Air Force One. But the brand new Air Force One is not equipped with the anti-missile defense system that the legacy Air Force One has, so they pull a switcharoo and fly Trump out of Turkey on the old Air Force One, which he disembarks in the UK and reboards the Qatari-gifted Air Force One. Confused? Oh, it gets worse.

The regime and Trump himself lied and claimed that there was never a threat, and Trump flew out of Turkey on the older Air Force One so that service members could check out the plane gifted by Qatar. Did I say that it gets worse?

As it turns out, Trump boarded the older Air Force One in Turkey, and then he disembarked before takeoff, got on a catering truck, and then was transported to a smaller Air Force C-32A airplane on which he flew to the UK.

After landing in the UK, Trump was secretly transported back to the older Air Force One from which he disembarked in front of cameras to waddle to the new Air Force One, gifted by Qatar.

Now get this: before taking off from Turkey, reporters and White House staffers on the older Air Force One were told to keep their window shades pulled down. The reason was so they would not see Trump being transported from one plane to the other on the catering truck, which has now been designated as Taco Truck One.

The subterfuge is totally understandable. It is the Secret Service's job to protect the president of the United States, even if he is a racist shitweasel of a human being. Of course, this flies in the face of Trump trying to create an image of himself as a tough guy. Remember, this is the same guy who hid in the White House Bunker when there were anti-racism protesters outside the White House in 2020 after the murder of George Floyd.

Quick, Mr. President! To the bunker! There are hippies outside!

Trump wants us to remember the image of him pumping his fist in the air while shouting “fight, fight, fight,” when in reality, he's more like, “crap my pants, crap my pants, crap my pants.”

This kind of misdirection has been employed before by the Secret Service. In 2000, fearing that President Bill Clinton's plane might be shot down by terrorists like al-Qaida or Ken Starr on a trip to Pakistan, he was flown in an unmarked C-20 after a more conspicuously American-branded C-20 had landed.

In 2003, eight months after the invasion of Iraq, President George W. Bush secretly flew to Baghdad. Bush had been spending Thanksgiving at his ranch outside Crawford, Texas, and officials said he would be there all weekend. Instead, he left the ranch in an unmarked car, flew to Andrews Air Force Base outside Washington and from there to Baghdad International Airport. It was so secretive that his parents and even his wife were not informed of the trip beforehand. A deception was later proven to be a wise move because a few years later in Baghdad, someone threw a shoe at Bush.

In 2010, President Barack Obama secretly visited Afghanistan, which employed a subterfuge involving a physical charade that implied the president was in a different location or vehicle. There are still rumors that they deployed a double in a tan suit with a jar of Grey Poupon mustard. The Secret Service was worried about assassination attempts from the Taliban and the Tea Party, still upset about his birth certificate.

In 2023, President Joe Biden secretly visited Ukraine, which involved flying out of Andrews Air Force Base on a modified C-32 aircraft instead of Air Force One, landing in Poland, then traveling to Kyiv by train for 10 hours.

The difference between these presidents’ secret trips and Trump's is that the journalists who were on board the flights were informed beforehand that they were potentially in danger. Trump, on the other hand, never told the reporters or even White House staffers on the plane, and they only found out from reporting by the Washington Post a month later.

During the 2024 presidential campaign, President Biden ordered increased security for Donald Trump. After being reinstalled in the Oval Office, Trump ordered that security be removed from people like Dr. Anthony Fauci, John Bolton, and Mike Pompeo despite there being incredible threats against their lives. Trump even pardoned people, those he instigated to attack Congress, who could be threats against them.

Donald Trump has to be the biggest piece of shit that has ever flown on a plane. We are now learning that the Secret Service employed a similar subterfuge plan to replace the rug on Trump's head.

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