Congratulations to the Haslam Sports Group (with behind the scenes help of former Columbus Mayor Coleman) for destroying years of work by residents and city commissioners to get what he wanted: McCoy Park is officially the new training location for a women’s soccer team.
Better yet, he’s getting 25 million dollars from the city and another 25 million from Franklin County to fund his dreams with our tax dollars (instead of funding another police training class or helping the homeless).
Haslam is officially the new “King of Columbus” who holds all the strings of City Council and “Mayor Suburbs”; he does what’s best for himself as a poor and misunderstood billionaire. We are now required to forget how this public park was destroyed and the opinions of the citizens were ignored.
Just forget about any kind of working democracy and celebrate women’s sports instead.
Your new King demands your obedience and loyalty. As a citizen of Columbus I beg you to accept your new leader and worship his needs above all.
What Haslam Wants. Haslam Gets.
Don’t get lazy. The next step is to choose a name for the new team.
We need a name that will inspire young women to achieve soccer greatness and forget how McCoy Park was ripped from the hands of residents who live here. Those residents mean less than nothing to City Hall; if they did then they would be billionaires like Haslam.
Potential new soccer team names (brainstormed from my neighbors):
- “Columbus Corruption” (logo design and name not my idea).
- Everyone Loves Jimmy Haslam Women’s Soccer Team.
- “Kicking Little Kids” Women’s Soccer Team.
- McCoy Memorial Park Soccer Team.
- The “At Least We Took This Park Away from Children” Soccer Team.
- We Worship City Hall Women’s Soccer Team.
- The “Southside Sirens” Women’s Soccer Team.
Submit potential names:
https://3il7hvfcj0c.typeform.com/to/tqzOOeKz
And no, #3 was not my idea but it makes sense since their park is being taken away from little kids because a billionaire wants the land. Still don’t think Columbus needs a master plan? We are the largest city in Ohio without any master plan for growth. That’s one reason City Hall just keeps improvising their own rules along the way to best serve the rich and powerful.
It’s Not Your Park to Give Away to a Billionaire By Glen Tuomaala
April 10, 2026
https://freepress.org/article/it-s-not-your-park-give-away-billionaire
Billionaire vs. Columbus Democracy By Glen Tuomaala
April 8, 2026
https://freepress.org/article/billionaire-vs-columbus-democracy