People

In honor of last week's Trans Day of Rememberance and Trans Awareness Week, I asked International Dancer and Burlesque Performer, Fonda Lingue some questions. I follow her on Facebook and we have become friends, meeting at burlesque festivals. She has been extraordinarily forthcoming about her journey coming out as a woman, including taking hormones, battling cancer and getting surgery. Please take a moment to learn more, feel the love that pours out of this incredible person, and think about others who either have or want to make this journey. Fonda Lingue traveled the world as a professional ballet dancer, teacher and choreographer for twenty years and now travels the world as a burlesque performer and instructor. LM: What is your history as a performer? When did you become Fonda Lingue? Fonda Lingue: Fonda Started as a drag performer in Atlanta back in 2006. After doing drag for a while I was tired of the lip syncing and standing there and decided to use my dance training in my numbers. These numbers evolved into burlesque numbers. Vagina Jenkins saw me perform and asked me to perform in one of her shows.

It’s not too late to offer employee giving at your workplace through Community Shares of Mid Ohio. During workplace giving campaigns, Community Shares collects donations for its coalition of more than 50 nonprofits. Each individual donor selects a charity or group of charities to receive their donation based on which organization is working on the issues and causes they care about most in their community. These donations have been beneficial to many of the member nonprofits of Community Shares. Contributions from employees at workplaces across Columbus and Central Ohio have allowed: NNEMAP Food Pantry and Neighborhood Services to purchase food for local residents in need, Habitat for Humanity – MidOhio to acquire supplies to build homes for families in need and to revitalize neighborhoods, WrightChoice prepare students with a disability for internships and employment and many more services from great local nonprofits. “Employee contributions through our workplace giving campaigns are a great way to connect individuals to their community,” Teresa Trost, Executive Director of Community Shares of Mid Ohio explained. “It really is like a layaway program for giving back.

Question: How can I ask my wife for sex? We have been married for 19-plus years, and have not had sex for ten years now. I am desperate. IT is complicated. Any ideas? Dear Reader:Thank you for your question. I can feel your frustration. There are many factors to consider. It brings up many more questions that can be directed to both you and/or your wife. * What else is happening with your relationship? * Is there depression or other mental illness? Is depression medication a factor? This can dramatically change a person's desire or inclination towards sex. * Was there a recovered memory of sexual trauma or abuse as a child? * Was there an injury? Is there now a disability that makes sex uncomfortable or painful? * Has an affair occurred? Do both parties know about the affair? Are you certain that either party is unaware? * Has there been a history of drug or alcohol abuse? * Has there been a history of domestic violence, in any way? Verbal, emotional, mental, physical, sexual? * Did she have a child, was it a traumatic delivery? * Have either of you gained a lot of weight? Has this weight created negative feelings? * Do you watch a lot of pornography?

Politicians should be envious of cannabis. It’s WAY more popular than they are. Its many wins at the ballot box testify to its popularity, and Election Day 2013 served as a case in point. From Colorado to Michigan, Maine and Miami, voters handed the substance healthy margins that would feel like a mandate to any vote hungry candidate. Take Colorado, for example. It is well known that the state’s Constitutional Amendment 64 to permit the “personal use and regulation of marijuana” passed by a 55 percent margin in 2012, the same year that President Obama won the White House with just 50.4 percent of the popular vote. Cannabis was on the ballot in Colorado again this year in the form of a tax on the sales made legal last year. This measure claimed an even higher 65 percent of the vote. Three Michigan cities ran local ballot initiatives to remove penalties for possession of an ounce and guess what?

On Tuesday, October 22nd, the sex-positive community lost a fearless leader, Carlos Batts. This beloved artist passed away at the age of 40. His work and spirit touched many of us, leaving us stunned and saddened by his sudden departure. An award-winning artist, photographer and director, Batts' artwork has appeared on book covers, fashion magazines, music videos, comic books and movies. Carlos has three internationally distributed hardbound coffee table books; “Wild Skin,” “Crazy Sexy Hollywood” and “American Gothing” that document a wide variety of sub-cultures. Batts directed independent features; Voluptuous Biker Babes, Kiss Attack, Young Hollywood as well as underground art films: American Gothic, Alter Ego and Voluptuous Life that are distributed through various mainstream outlets.

On Monday, October 28, an explosion and heavy gunfire were reported outside the US embassy in Yemen. You may have heard about it. It got a brief mention on all the cable news channels with promises of more on this story as it develops including possible casualties. It pierced my leftist information silo through a small paragraph on Gawker mentioning this fact and nothing else. It was, a sobering reminder, indeed, of the dangerous world we live in. A moment of pause, for reflection that for all the criticism we do and outrage we share about the military-industrial complex, they really are working to keep us, Americans, safe. A few hours later, there was more on this story as it developed: the explosions were fireworks from a wedding party. Now this is far from the first time that the US has “mistaken” a wedding party for so-called terrorist activity, as quite a few former citizens of Afghanistan can attest to. Nor is this far from the first time that questionable news reports have been deployed in an effort to keep the populace good and scared. I will admit that were it not for this column, I would have never bothered to follow up on the story. No news outlet.

During the Halloween season, there is a lot of flesh being exposed. Several events are planned that are fetish-oriented and have a Halloween theme. For instance, in Columbus we have Trauma, Detroit has Theatre Bizarre, San Francisco has Masquerotica – to name a few. Many Halloween costumes have “sexy” in the title, and some fun with memes has come into play with this, like the Sexy Tampon costume, or Sexy Cockroach. Some have brought up the topic of shaming those who choose to be sexy during the Halloween holiday season. For some, this may be the one time of the year that they can dress sexy or revealing, where they feel comfortable enough to be exposed. They look forward to it, and get turned on by the idea that they can be freer with their body and sexual expressions in public. However, the issue of availability from women who dress sexy or revealing can turn a holiday celebration into a painful memory. Let’s think about some things that may have come up, for the next time you choose to be sexy in public.

Consent and Shame

Something that happens during the big Halloween events where fetish and spooky are commingled, is a lack of consent.

Cheryl Shuman’s successful tour of Ohio to promote the Ohio Cannabis Rights Amendment, sponsored by the Ohio Rights Group (ORG), concluded in Cleveland a week ago with a segment by Lee Jordan on the city’s News Channel 5. Success becomes self-evident when the opposition appears, often in the form of the Drug Free Action Alliance (DFAA), which is headquartered on Huntley Road in Columbus. The segment, entitled “Northeast Ohio family seeks medical cannabis in Colorado to find effective treatment for seizures” and aired on October, 25, 2013, included several quotes from DFAA Executive Director Margie Seidel to rebut the use of cannabis for treating the devastating seizures experienced by Jordan Lykes who suffers from Dravet Syndrome, a rare form of epilepsy. In the first quote, Ms. Seidel states that, “Medicine goes through a very rigid process of study and research through the FDA, a revered system throughout the world." Really? Many of these FDA approved drugs have proven to be harmful or even deadly. For example, in 2009, drug induced deaths, principally from otherwise legal opiates, exceeded deaths from motor vehicle accidents for the first time since such tracking began.

An Intimate Experience Giving head is so pleasureful and intense. There are few things that can compare with the intimacy of this sexual act. Placing your mouth into the heart of sensitivity and sexuality to cause arousal, manipulating the movements of your tongue, lips, face, hands all at once, concentrating so many nimble movements - solely to give your partner pleasure. Think of all the variations of sensations that can be applied. It is a personal decision and a beautiful expression of intimacy. Getting’ Down If you’re thinking about the possibility of submitting to head, I recommend learning about a variety of techniques, including the reading list at the bottom of this article, and the video, Nina Hartley’s Guide to Oral Sex (www.nina.com). If you have a partner that is unwilling, I suggest bringing up your desires in a neutral setting, outside of the bedroom first. If your partner is hesitant about oral sex, and doesn't want to watch the video or discuss the possibilities, I don't recommend pushing the issue.

I was going to write about the current labor dispute between SEIU Local 1 and ABM that resulted in a janitors' strike last week, but apparently some of the documents involved contain information that needs to be redacted, so we're just waitin' on that FOIA. In the meantime, life is a precious gift, and every day spent alive is a miracle. Fall is here people and it is gangsta. I know nobody picks up this righteous newspaper to hear my life story, but a few context-relevant details are necessary. For the past six years, I have spent my time in that seasonless simulacrum of a world known as California. I haven't experienced crisp autumn air, real apple cider, the sensation of walking over fallen leaves while wearing socks, tailgating in real football weather since I was in high school. As I contemplated my ignominious yet triumphant return to Ohio, fall was what I was looking forward to the most. And yet, when I came back, I was worried. Fall has always been that most ephemeral of seasons.