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Dear Lady Monster,
I'm not sure if I'm able to have orgasms with my partner. I can come when I'm by myself, but it's really hard for me to get to that same point with someone else. I'd really like to, and feel like I should be able to. When I'm high I get really close to it, but then it disappears. The sex feels good, but I'm frustrated about why I'm not coming.
“To Come. Did you come? Did you come? Good. Did you come good?” - Lenny Bruce
Think of the importance we place on those two words when it comes to sex. Our society is very goal-oriented when it comes to sex. We want to be sure we come, that we come simultaneously, and with earth-shattering kabooms. That's usually not how it works.
For some an orgasm may not be achieved with another person. Some people have a difficult time because of past sexual trauma, or other PTSD, being vulnerable enough to let go in front of a partner, or are tightly wound with stress and cannot get to the point of climax.
Egads, my least favorite American holiday approaches, Halloween. Actually I have no real beef with Halloween, it's the holiday's grimy companion, Beggars Night, that gets my guff.
I shudder to think of what ghastly outcomes will befall us this year. The neighborhood ruffians take particular aim at the Peaves household and it has grown steadily worse with each passing season.
Years ago, wishing to fit in at our new home, we showered the local brats with all manner of sweets. I objected to the cost but Mrs. Peaves insisted on (what she called) “doing the right thing.”
So for years Beggars Night cost me a pretty penny and the local riff raff filled their bellies with sweets from the likes of Mars, Nestles, Hershey and their bedevilled brethren in the candy business.
No thought was ever given to how the Peaves family was contributing the the obesity of our neighbors' children, or what bills they may have incurred from their family dentist.
That is until Mrs.
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While the debate in Congress over “Comprehensive Immigration Reform” continues, undocumented youth have continued to take bold steps, showing they are unafraid, unashamed and that they and their families belong in their new home, the United States.
Since the Immigration Reform and Control Act of 1986, there has been no concrete legislation addressing the need for citizenship for people who, for whatever circumstance, have come to the United States to seek a better life for themselves and their family. Like any presidential candidate, Barack Obama campaign promised more than he could deliver when he promised Immigration Reform during his 2008 campaign.
Quite the opposite of supporting immigrant rights, during Obama’s tenure the United States has deported more people than any previous administration -- 1.7 million within six years. Our country averages over 1,000 deportations each day, including hundreds of deportations in Franklin County each year.
Obama again made Immigration Reform central to his 2012 presidential campaign.
The government shutdown engineered by the Republican tea party zealots in the House of Representatives is headed into its third week. The damage is spreading. Infants go without nutrition. Children are locked out of pre-school programs. Scientists are losing support and locking up labs.
The people taking the biggest hit, of course, are public employees — the workers who serve the American people. Some 800,000 of them were initially furloughed without pay. Ironically, those deemed the most essential are paying the highest price.
“Essential” government employees are now, as Jeffrey David Cox, the president of the American Federation of Government Employees, told me on my radio show, essentially “indentured servants.” They’re forced to work without pay. About half of AFGE’s 670,000 members are deemed “essential.” They are required to work, and face disciplinary action if they don’t. But they aren’t getting paid and won’t be until the shutdown ends and Congress decides to vote them retroactive pay.
These employees include nurses, food inspectors, janitors, firefighters and more. Most are not big earners.
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It is 4:12 PM on Saturday, and I am drunk and waiting to go on the Santa Maria. It is Experience Columbus Day, so the tours are half off. Live music and a taco truck are summoned to provide the festive atmosphere for this celebration of colonialism. This floating homage to genocide is a popular site for field trips; I remember going on one in early elementary school. As I wait for the tour to start, one such assortment of suburban teenagers is role-playing in front of the ship for some sort of official photo-op. In a truly transcendent bit of colorblindness, the person playing Christopher Columbus is a black girl, the sole presence of diversity in the group. I'm too far away to hear what they're saying, but it's obvious this girl is having trouble, because whenever they start the scene, she cracks up laughing, to the mystification of all the white people surrounding her. Certainly some of this is nerves, but she is also clearly on to something that her fellow cast members are not: the fundamentally absurd and terrifying nature of the presence of this 62-foot carrack on the Scioto River.
The downtown riverfront in Columbus is beautiful, make no doubt about it.
October is National Kink Month as declared by JT Stockroom and The Pleasure Coach, both of Los Angeles.
They define it as “Kink Month is a public education campaign – but one that appeals as much to seasoned BDSM players looking to extend their repertoire as it does to beginners curious about incorporating fetish roleplay into their love life.”
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Oct 11 is National Coming Out Day, and to all those who have recently or are about to come out, welcome. Please step up to claim your toaster ovens.
With Linda’s beautiful story, we launch our coming out series. We invite you to share your own coming-out stories, whether they’re funny, painful, happy or heart-breaking. We’ll post them on outlookcolumbus.com and create a space on our website where they’ll be archived as a coming-out resource.
Dear Lady Monster,
My husband is obsessed with anal sex. At first, my attitude was “It's for exit only,” but I'm beginning to think more about it and want to tell him it's OK. Is it guaranteed to hurt? What can we do to make it feel as good as possible?
Sincerely,
Brown-Eyed Susan
Hello Susan,
Thanks so much for posing a wonderfully intimate question.
You are being cautious and smart, asking the best way to make anal sex pleasurable.
In the words of Nina Hartley, “You must earn butt, you cannot be given butt.” You obviously feel your husband has earned butt. This should be a great moment. Let me provide some tips.
Lube. The anus has no natural lubricant, so you must provide it. Many people use silicone-based lube. Water-based lube is also good, but will become sticky more quickly than silicone. Crisco shortening is considered by many as the best lube for anal play. It is heavier, thoroughly lubricating the area for a long period of time, but will stain towels, sheets and blankets. Use ½ cup of Dawn liquid dishwashing soap in your regular laundry to remove the stains.
When using condoms, use silicone or water-based lube. Crisco will disintegrate latex condoms.
Natural disasters and mass shootings, like the ones last Monday make me sad. Certainly the loss of life and reasonless destruction involved are always horrible, and I say my prayers/pour one out as best as any concerned citizen can. But there's another, less unsavory reason, that they give me a case of the feels. Upon first reaction, they tend to mess up all of my great perfect-in-theory anarchist ideas and the inherent oppressive nature of the police and military.
Police brutality is a problem. The militarization of the police is a problem. Our surveillance state is a problem. A country on a permanent war footing is a problem, and the problems are a direct result of what we understand the function of a state or of a government to be.
Dear Lady Monster,
I'm curious why my girlfriend will suddenly pee on me sometimes during sex. I'll either be going down on her or having sex or masturbating her and then all this pee comes out and everything gets wet. She's not that freaked out by it cause it happens to her all the time. She claims it's not pee. It doesn't smell like pee either. What is it?
Signed,
Oh My Gush!
Dear OMG,
It is not pee. It is female ejaculation.
The anatomy of a woman's vaginal canal is an extraordinary landscape, filled with nerves, ducts and spongy tissue. This phenomenal architectural network becomes engorged when aroused, like a penis becomes engorged with blood. Some of that network also fills with fluid from the Skene's glands. It is an anatomical feature in every woman.
The urethral sponge is where the G-Spot is located. It can be felt through the vaginal wall, as a harder texture. The location is considered mysterious because it is not stationary. It can shift positions, expand and contract.