Dear Free Press,

Not only that, there are roughly the same number of women's breasts on this planet as people. How can it be obscene to see something that half the human race actually have two of, and the other half were intimately acquainted with for the first part of their life, and at least wanted to be for the rest of it? And as for the "what about the children?" argument: the younger you are, the MORE wholesome and legitimate a relationship you have with a woman's breast!

It just goes to show what insane priorities we have as a culture. This was at a football game, where grown men bash their bodies against each other with enough force to dislocate shoulders, break bones, and ruin knees for life; happens all the time. No one objects to movies where psychotic murderers and occult horrors and slime-dripping aliens torture innocent people, disembowel them, eat their faces, and lay eggs in their remains. We see heads explode, alien offspring erupt from body cavities, and mortar fire spread body parts to the four winds.

But a one-second glimpse of a woman's breast has the country in an uproar, with more furious airplay than the fact that a man who didn't get the most votes seized the Presidency, corrupting the Supreme Court to do it, then led us into the first pre-emptive war in our history by lying to the public about a non-existent threat, causing over 500 American & allied deaths and thousands of injuries (not to mention the thousands of dead Iraqi civilians). It's amazing how such a small breast pushed all that off the screen.

Ad Astra, Jeff
Executive Director, ACE

P.S. I only saw the news coverage, not the actual un-coverage, but what I saw showed a greater, truly serious problem. That rectangular blurred image floating in front of her breast can only mean one thing:

Janet Jackson is BORG!

The moment her black body armor was pierced, her Borg physiology adapted and projected a force field protecting her vulnerable area. (This also explains Michael's outfit on "I'm Bad", and his skin coloration.)

Bow to the Hype! Resistance is Futile!