People

On Sunday, March 9th, it's Spring Forward for daylight savings, time to move our clocks forward one hour (2am becomes 3am). Spring begins officially with the Vernal Equinox on March 20th at 12:57PM Eastern Time. Spring Fever isn't a myth or a disease, it encompasses psychological and physiological changes. Our bodies respond to the change in seasons and availability of sunlight. Our circadian rhythms are directly affected by bright light, especially in women. Internal timekeeping runs faster in some women, thus making them more affected by available sunlight. The rapid changes in the amount of sunlight from Vernal Equinox to the Summer Solstice, creates Spring Fever in most of us. Many of us experiencing winter blues (especially with this harsh one) are just itching for it to be over. We want sunshine, longer days, warmth, and to get out of the house more often for longer periods of time. We get so excited from seeing grass, buds on plants and trees. Experiencing bare flesh again is also quite titillating. This excitement creates a release of endorphins.

There are times my boyfriend is mean to me, makes me cry, and then makes love to me. It has happened several times, so I see a pattern emerging. Do you think he is turned on by crying? Dear Reader, If you did not say that he is first mean to you, then I would suspect something else. However, because he is mean to you, it is my opinion that he is not turned on by crying. He is turned on by pain and control. He is abusive. This is not about love or sex, it is about hurting you and your feelings. The more control over you your partner feels, the more it turns them on. This is not consenting behavior. You are being taken advantage of and abused. Domestic violence does not discriminate. It can happen to any person in any kind of relationship – heterosexual, homosexual, friendships, marriages, family, elder care, children, professional, etc. There are no boundaries between class, ethnicity or region either. It can happen to anyone. It usually catches a partner off-guard. A relationship begins rosy and then the darkness emerges. An abusive partner seeks control and sometimes the easiest way to feel in control or bigger is to tear down their partner.

The fake viral story from a year ago was the tipping point playaz. I was almost finna' let it go, because it's TPP month. But if debunked stories about Russian gold medal winners kissing in protest are gonna blow up my spot on my news feed, then the TPP can wait a week, 'cuz I ain't havin' it on this jingoistic ignorance. Look, I understand that the Winter Olympics are going on, but did the media take this time four years ago to break expose after expose on the horrid conditions in British Columbia, or Italy, or Japan, or Utah? First it was Tsarnaevs, then it was Snowden, then it was Syria, then it was gay rights, then it was Ukraine, now it's the Olympics, tomorrow it'll be something else. In every instance, Russia has emerged as the recently-unfrozen General Zod to our atrophying Superman. Would that this current sentiment were just an Olympics-time performance of nationalism, but even after the closing ceremony, the narrative remains: America good, Putin's Russia bad. True to Saul Alinsky's advice, instrumental in these new-same-as-the-old imperial struggles is to pick a central figure in your target and make that person the embodiment of all things evil.

I've tried, I really have. But, as much as I'd like to, I just can't work up any enthusiasm for the Winter Olympics. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a number of the events. I think it's the coverage that's throwing me off. NBC and its many affiliate networks aren't happy unless they can provide a story line that is either tragic or triumphant. And they're so formulaic in the way they present these stories. What's so strange to me is all the footage they have of some of the athletes. For example there's the American figure skating pair of Meryle Davis and Charlie White and their heartwarming tale of growing up skating together. Their parents must have foreseen the need to video tape the duo from an early age, no doubt banking on the future of their progeny as Olympians. How else can you account for the seemingly endless hours of tape of the pair. And it's not just Davis and White. Is there an American athlete in the games whose early life wasn't documented by their parents? If, on the odd chance, there isn't any archival footage, NBC has done us the favor of going out to get some.

Like some of you, I have a dislike for forced holidays, and do not celebrate this holiday that some say was created by corporations (my personal joke, the Greeting Card Industrial Complex?) However, many do celebrate this day of love, with their romantic partner.   For those rebelling against the masses, and those who want to do something different for the holiday, I have some advice. Challenge yourself to find a way to express love and kindness to your partner, yourself, a friend and a neighbor – whoever you encounter, whoever is near. Find a new way of giving of yourself that you may not have done in a long time, if ever.   I'm remembering Valentine's Day in grade school. Covering old shoe boxes in tin foil, felt, glitter, glue, heart shapes and other kinds of trim. Stuffing inside little cards with names misspelled and silly sayings, sometimes to people we didn't care that much about. However, it still felt good to spread some love around, even if it wasn't romantic.   Perhaps you could buy a package of child's Valentine cards and place them in a series of mailboxes on your street. Don't write any names or addresses on the card or envelope.

When the big snow hit central Ohio last week I happened to be in Whitehall. I was there for reasons that are unimportant.    But that's where I was when we were inundated by the big snowfall. I weighed my prospects for returning to the luxurious digs of the Free Press. After much mental give and take, I ventured forward.    I was pleasantly surprised to find the roads clear, even the side streets. By the time I reached Broad St. at Hamilton Rd. I thought I was in the clear. Traveling West toward downtown everything was fine until I reached the Whitehall/Columbus border.    That's where the plowed road ended and a mountain of snow began. Columbus had not deemed Broad St. plow-worthy apparently. Traffic slowed to a crawl as motorists made their way through the ever-darkening sludge.    Things did not improve until I reached Gould Rd. which just happens to be where Bexley begins. That municipality did take the trouble to plow Broad St. Later I learned that there were lots of places in Columbus that had not been plowed.

A play party by definition is an orgy – a gathering of several people of varying sexual lifestyles/ preferences for the purpose of sexual activity. Usually the host(s) determines if the party is for a hetero/bisexual, gay/lesbian or BDSM (or all of the above) attendees. Play parties are usually by invitation only. When invitations go out, a set of rules are also sent. Sometimes admission is charged to cover the cost of staff, rent, laundry and supplies. Sometimes males only are charged admission or charged a higher rate of admission than females. Usually there is a reasonable fee for couples or a group that arrives together. The main rule is to have consent. If someone does not wish to engage with others, but to just watch or exhibit masturbation, that is their preference. If you ask someone for a sexual encounter, for permission to touch, kiss or more, be specific about your intentions and be ready to move on after hearing, “No.” A pile of writhing, naked bodies is not necessarily an invitation for anyone to join in. If you have been told “No” by someone and yet you see them in the midst of a pile, don't be confused.

While attending Sexapalooza 2014 as an entertainer and presenter, I met many people in the sex-positive community of Central Ohio.

I'd like to take this column space to list some of the organizations, groups, people and places and provide a list of resources and information. I enjoy creating community, bringing people together for more knowledge, awareness, respect and love - especially for a more sex-positive society.

Adventures In Sexuality (AIS). Kinky? Curious? Check out Central Ohio's fun, educational, and experiential avenue for Creative Sensual and Sexual Expression. Within the banner of AIS, there are many sub-groups where people can find their niche. We are comprised of diverse members of the Ohio and National Kink Community. We are focused on Education, Outreach, Safer Play, Fun and toward building greater Kink Awareness and Acceptance within the Central Ohio area. www.AdventuresInSexuality.org
Here are some events and offerings within AIS:

Dear Lady Monster, I masturbate a few times a day and am still ready to have sex a few more times. Sometimes I either don't have time or forget, but when I'm inspired, watch out! Does this make me a sex addict? Love, Once More Into The Breeches Dear Once More, In my opinion, sex addiction should be seen as other addictions are. It's not about the amount of sex you're having (masturbation, intercourse, oral, etc), it's your emotions around the behavior. Here are few questions to ask yourself: 1. “Is this a habit or an addiction?” Do you know the difference? Simply stated, a habit is a choice, an addiction is a compulsion. If it's a habit, you can make the choice to stop. If it's an addiction, it is beyond voluntary control. You will need outside help to make the transition from these behaviors. 2. “Am I ready to admit that I have a problem?” Are you in denial or are ready to admit that you need help? There are a list of symptoms and signs of addiction. Most common are to consider, how does your behavior affect your life? Do you feel compelled? Do you relinquish your duties, responsibilities, social engagements, relationships in order to feed your cravings? 3.