People
How often have we, as discerning readers found that the reported norm does not fit what is true for ourselves? I had a few women contact me, asking me to write about menopause. I asked them to answer one question, “Have you noticed any changes in your sexual response in relation with menopause?”
Simply stated, menopause means a pause in menstrual cycles. Once cycles cease, a woman is said to be peri-menopausal. Pre-menopause can be classified when a woman first begins to experience changes to her cycles. It can take several years. The entire experience can be called Menopause, and it's not nicknamed, “The Change” for nothing. No woman can predict her symptoms, the severity, how many years it will last or if hormone replacement therapy is a worthwhile solution. Women can experience menopause in their 40s, 50s and into their 60s. Diet, stress, smoking, medication, surgeries, and especially cancer treatments can bring on menopause.
The negative and disturbing phrase, Rape Culture has a counterpart and it's being called The Culture of Consent. I choose to use the latter phrase to spread a message of positivity and education. The phrase Culture of Consent is being used more and more, especially the kink community and on college campuses.
However, not all violence is perpetrated against women. All genders are receivers of sexual and domestic violence.
Since May 24th, the internet has been flooded with #yesallwomen, #allmencan and #nomore testimonies, stories and ideas. Perhaps a million have spoken out via Twitter and other social networking sites about sexual assault, misogyny and objectification. The educational efforts with these (and other) online campaigns is inspirational. People are banding together with a general response against violence. They are responding with what kind of behavior and thoughts are damaging and how to rise above.
This article is not meant to alarm or cause fear. The purpose is to educate, to state what it is, how to prevent it and deal with it should you contract it. Many people already carry the virus and do not show symptoms.
Intimacy can be the Holy Grail of relationships. I am going to ask a series of questions, to assist each of us on our quest. Our interpretations of intimacy are unique and varied.
What is intimacy? What role does it play in sex – regardless if partnered or single? Many single people, in their search for intimacy, hold off having sex. They prefer to wait until there is a someone they can invest in emotionally, to have a more profound and meaningful exchange. Married and partnered people also struggle with intimacy. Some have deep, connected relationships, but are not sexually intimate.
The definition of intimacy is a personal one, and unique to each person.
May is International Masturbation Month
“If you want something done right, do it yourself.”
Beginning in 1995, the sex toy store Good Vibrations began a celebration of self-love as a protest against the firing of the Surgeon General, Joycelyn Elders. After a speech at the 1994 UN World AIDS Day conference, Dr. Elders was asked about masturbation as a way to discourage youth from engaging in partnered sex to avoid the AIDS virus. She responded, “I think it is something that is part of human sexuality and a part of something that perhaps should be taught.” She was forced to resign from working for the government.
Acknowledgment of masturbation as a sexual practice is essential to having a healthy sex life, especially if you are your only partner. It’s safe, free, healthy and can be fulfilling and rewarding.
Bedroom Dodgeball and Other Tales
Dear Lady Monster,
Some years ago I had a single sexual encounter with a woman who sought me out for a long time. We finally met, and some months later she took me home. She showed me a photo album full of pictures she had taken of me at a public event several years prior. Things turned sexual and then got strange. She had a large collection of homemade rubber masks. She had over 40 of them, each on their own manniquin head. They were all masks of zombie rats. She insisted we both wear them during sex. I was not comfortable, but I tried to perform anyway. I could not. There is nothing sexy for me about looking down and seeing a dead rat looking back at me during intercourse.
She also thought that randomly throwing deflated soccer balls at my buttocks from across the room, without warning, while screaming, "Suck on Satan's pecker" was foreplay.
The Columbus Burlesque Collective is a community for local performers with respect for the art of burlesque, each other and no hierarchy. This is not a troupe. We each provide unique perspectives and talents to promote the art of burlesque.
The art form of burlesque, continues to surge through the counterculture and underground art movements, sometimes peeking it's head into mainstream with Dita Von Teese and misnomers like the recent film with Cher.
During the 40s, 50s and 60s, American cities were dotted with burlesque theaters, all receiving their share of performers – local and on the circuit. There were unions for the performers, contracts and promotions in the newspapers. The art of the tease – striptease – evolved from vaudeville. Hollywood made films about it (Lady of Burlesque with Barbara Stanwyck, and Gypsy with Natalie Wood) and Gypsy Rose Lee had a successful television talk show for a time too.
I was 83 last September and was wondering if you have any ideas on how to make my nonexistent sex life better?
About 5 years ago I had most of my prostate removed due to (lost word) it was enlarged, but not cancerous, OK? So at first I was still able to have erections, but not as hard as before, then gradually, less and less erect. I still had orgasms, but without any liquid, which is fine for me, but not sure how women will handle that one. I can still have orgasm, but it takes at least a week to get horny enough to start trying. My daughter tells me that when I find the right woman it will be different, but I don't know..... What do you think?
As a BBW model/performer, Kelly is passionate about introducing body positive messages into the media spotlight, and promotes her ongoing mantra of “Confidence is Sexy” through a variety of mediums. A proponent of “intelligent hedonism,” Kelly speaks on college campuses and more on how to intelligently navigate female sexuality, negative media messages about size, and bullying, all while developing self-confidence, class, and inner strength.