In your letter, you asked me if there really was a Democratic Party. You said that all of your friends have told you it’s a big fat lie, a story that grownups tell little kids so they won’t worry about mean old Republicans who eat children like you. You wrote me also that you have a tough time believing there could ever be a political party that cares about the difference between right and wrong, and wants you to have clean air to breath and pure, fresh water to drink in the middle of the night when you wake up thirsty. And you told me that after listening to President Bush on the TV, you think all that stuff about Democrats who think it is wrong to kill people in countries that haven’t done anything to hurt us is all make-believe, too. After all, you never see those Democrat guys talking back to the President, and telling him he’s bad.

Well, Virginia, I am here to tell you that yes, there is a Democratic Party, and they believe in all the things you believe deep in your heart, things that all children believe in, like justice, freedom of speech, helping the poor, being nice, all the things you know are right, Virginia. You haven’t heard them telling the President how naughty he is because, frankly, he scares them too and they are afraid he will swallow them up in one big GULP! But I am sure, Virginia, that after they read this, those Democrats will be brave and defend all little children like you, and all the grownups, too.

So don’t you worry, Virginia. Things will all right from now on. Dick Cheney isn’t really hiding under your bed, and that crazy old Donald Rumsfeld isn’t waiting to jump out of your closet at you. Sweet Dreams, Virginia.

Sincerely,
Your Friend,
Santa Kucinich

P.S. Be very careful when you go out at night, Virginia, because what your friends said about Republicans is true; they really do eat little kids just like you. GULP!