23 September 2014

So, the Democratic National Committee has bent the rules for Senator
Clinton and effectively given her 87 delegates and Senator Obama 63 from
two states that were not supposed to be counted. That gives Clinton a
grand total of 1,580 pledged (more or less) delegates, and Obama 1,711.
While, technically that still leaves Obama with "the lead," there are 86
pledged delegates remaining to be awarded in Puerto Rico, Montana, and
South Dakota. This means that Clinton can still pull it out if she picks
up 153 percent of the remaining delegates, an improvement on the 181
percent she would have needed to pick up if not for the Michigan-Florida

Clinton clearly has the momentum. In addition, the backroom deal on
Michigan and Florida's "pledged" delegates helps to blur the line
between pledged delegates (awarded by actual voters and caucus goers,
except in Florida and Michigan) and super delegates (awarded by Party
control freaks). The distinction is, of course, blurred to virtual
nonexistence by any media story covering the election, as over 80
percent of media stories now do.

The above calculation doesn't count the 19 delegates whom John Edwards
has encouraged to back Obama, or the delegates pledged to Clinton who
have begun flipping for Obama. It also doesn't count the super
delegates, with whom Obama holds a substantial lead, but whom Clinton
fully expects to win over en masse any day now.

Experts agree that Clinton stands a good and improving chance of pulling
out a victory in the end, given her momentum, determination, and appeal
to dumb people. Like soccer moms and Jews for Buchanan before them, dumb
people are shaking up this election and coming into their own as an
identity group with ever rising "self pride." The group intentionally
avoids the term "self esteem" as being too difficult to spell.

"Dumb People for Hilary" [sic] bumper stickers are showing up across the
country and being shipped by the truck load to South Dakota, Montana,
and Puerto Rico. (The trucks to Puerto Rico have been driving off
bridges in the Florida Keys.) The stickers and other "dumb people"
paraphernalia are being paid for by the Clinton campaign, even while the
campaign's supporters have organized to stop making contributions and
instead buy lottery tickets in all 50 states.

While her husband's campaign headquarters in 1992 famously posted a sign
reading "It's the economy, stupid," Hillary Clinton's now boasts a
three-foot high quote from H.L. Mencken:

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and
more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious
day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last
and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."

Senator Obama has faltered in trying to portray himself as one of the
dumb people too, but Senator McCain has taken advantage of the latest
election trend in a major way by inviting President Bush to join him on
the campaign trail.