I’m on a mission to spread the good word about giving and getting head.
An Intimate Experience Giving head is so pleasureful and intense. There are few things that can compare with the intimacy of this sexual act. Placing your mouth into the heart of sensitivity and sexuality to cause arousal, manipulating the movements of your tongue, lips, face, hands all at once, concentrating so many nimble movements - solely to give your partner pleasure. Think of all the variations of sensations that can be applied. It is a personal decision and a beautiful expression of intimacy. Getting’ Down If you’re thinking about the possibility of submitting to head, I recommend learning about a variety of techniques, including the reading list at the bottom of this article, and the video, Nina Hartley’s Guide to Oral Sex ( If you have a partner that is unwilling, I suggest bringing up your desires in a neutral setting, outside of the bedroom first. If your partner is hesitant about oral sex, and doesn't want to watch the video or discuss the possibilities, I don't recommend pushing the issue. Try to show as much intimacy with them as possible without expecting reciprocation. Blow by Blow If your partner is salivating at the thought, begin with touching, massaging and caressing. You can do this with your tongue, lips, hands, breasts/chest, butt cheeks, hair, feet - any part of your body that will turn your partner on. Be patient, take your time, explore your partner, and TALK to them, ask them how it feels. When your partner is beginning to feel aroused, begin doing more things. Use your mouth more, use more pressure with your hands, make all of your movements more intense. Sustain their arousal with the manipulations of your body. You have control of their sensations and it’s time to have some fun. If you are using your fingers, wash your hands first or use a latex glove with lubrication. This will prevent spreading bacteria and tearing (from long or uneven fingernails or hangnails). Spit or Swallow? Having protection (including condoms, latex gloves, dental dams or plastic wrap) should be a consideration. Genital warts and herpes are viruses that don’t go away and are usually invisible and without symptoms. Tests can only be given if a breakout has occurred, and then again, the test isn’t fool proof. HIV is also a virus, but the tests can be offered at any time to anyone (and anonymous and for free). If you are clean now and respect yourself (and your partner) then stay clean, and have protection. The American Association of Physicians for Human Rights (AAPHR) issued a ranking of various oral sex practices, in descending order of risk: * Oral sex with men with ejaculation and without a condom * Oral sex with women (without a barrier) * Oral sex with men with pre-ejaculate and without a condom * Oral sex with men with no (pre) ejaculate and without a condom * Oral sex with men or women with protection Still Dripping Giving head is a wondrous convergence of sensations and explorations. Realize the possibilities of great sex and sexual sensations. Nothing should stop you from exploring, from feeling, from knowing more and more. The information, the experiences, the beauty of the human orgasm is out there to be seen, felt and heard ‘round the world. More Recommended Readings (all available at and ): Oral Caress: The Loving Guide to Exciting A Woman: A Comprehensive Illustrated Manual on the Joyful Art of Cunnilingus by Robert W. Birch Going Down: Lip Service from Great Writers (Anthology) The Clitoral Kiss: A Fun Guide to Oral Sex, Oral Massage and Other Oral Delights (Anthology) Oral Sex for Dodos by Les Deux. Let Me Count the Ways : Discovering Great Sex Without Intercourse, by Marty Klein Ph.D. and Riki Robbins Ph.D. Thanks to W. Ralph Walters for his Lady Monster illustration. If you have a question or a topic you would like to have covered in this column, please go to: and click on the link for the Google form. It is 100% anonymous. Thank you.

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