Like it or not, Bernie and The Donald are connected for the rest of this race and, in the bigger picture, for history. Talking heads link them by accusing Bernie's supporters of being cut from The Donald's supporters' same cloth. Shortsighted companymen in the media are undoubtedly satisfied at having noticed and developed a theory all on their own: people are angry.

While some writers write that this means Establishment Candidates will end up doing "such and such," others contend it proves that Anti-Establishment Candidates will wind up doing "this and that." Basically, expert pundits are experiencing difficulties and nobody knows whats to come.

The truth is that Anti-Establishment is hot as a hairpiece under stage lights because of the neutered leadership of what many people now see as the Establishment. A foul and detrital odor is wafting up from Washington's gutters, and thinkers and mouth breathers alike are taking collar to nose. Our great capital's Empty Suit Factory, one of the country's most durable industries, ceaselessly chucks out focus-grouped, assembly-line smiles ready to be pumped to the symmetrical skull full of contributions, slow-acting poisons.

The only real and appealing similarity between Bernie and The Donald is humanity. Bernie's consistency of character and barely contained passion frizzling from his whispy white hair regularly draw tens of thousands. As for The Donald, nothing's more human than hubris.

Something wrong in America has wrested these two masses of unrest from apathy, but their reactions to the problems we face land them on opposite spectrum ends. Grouping them in any category together really should create mitosis.

Ultimately, the great, irate comedian Bill Hicks once put it perfectly:

"It's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. A choice, right now, between Fear and Love. The eyes of Fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of Love, instead, see all of us as one.

Here's what we can do to change the world right now to a better ride: Take all that money we spend on weapons and defense each year and instead spend it feeding, clothing, and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded. And we can explore space together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace."

Don't worry, it wasn't his opener.