I just want to crawl away
into some dark place
Where no war can touch me
No person can harm me
Somewhere so I can't
see the face
of those who blame
and judge
And stare at me with
their eyes
Daggers of truth cutting
Dabbing blood with only lies
Where timing isn't necessary
Statues of stone representing self
Emotions carelessly stacked
A place to mourn
A place to shelf
away my fears
A place where I am praised
to show tears
I can dive into
my own sadness
madness
and mourn
my innocence lost
and rediscover the meaning
of yet another
lost year


A place where babies are safe
to be born
Safe to bare
Where I could be a mother
and not have to care
or spend my time
Waiting
Anticipating
and hating
myself for being weak
For choosing the abortionist's chair
Strapped myself in
I gave away the part of me
that may just have had
a chance
Sacrificed my baby
so that in this youth
I could continue to dance

A place
far away from criticism
Far away from my
current state of mind
A place that would nurture
and give
Teach myself how to forgive
A place
where my baby could live