Sex and Religion,
It's Sex and Religion,
That Old-Time Religion should pack up and leave.
Sex and Religion,
Gimme Sex and Religion --
The greatest combination since Adam and Eve.

Verse 1:
When Bill Clinton and Monica had their affair,
Sacred Confessors popped out everywhere.
They led our President through atonement prayers
And their prayers were answered -- the White House is theirs.

Verse 2:
What they did with a heterosexual affair yesterday,
They're doing today by bashing the gays.
Nothing rallies the faithful and frightens their wives
Like trashing gay clergy, gay schools, and gay lives.

Verse 3:
Soon they'll control the courts and the red, white and blue.
The church will rule the state and they'll both control you.
If you have the kind of sex life that they abhor,
The church and the state will break down your door.

Verse 4:
Now that Gay Marriage is the new boy in town,
They'll amend the Constitution just to keep you down.
They say the gay "life style" is perverted and odd.
Well, they should know best -- they're always talking to God.

Verse 5:
If you want an abortion, the law will say "No!"
Prayer will be back in schools, sex education will go.
Nothing raises money from the choir like sexual scares --
That's why our Ayatollahs -- the Ultra-Right-eous -- Bauer, Dobson, Falwell, Robertson -- Sanctimonious Santorum -- are all millionaires.

Final Chorus ends: HAL-LE-LU-JAH!!!!!!!!!!!