The Ohio GOP may soon push "breakthrough" legislation requiring the official execution of Medicare recipients, according to a fictional source within the party. Secret computer-based lotteries will decide who will be eliminated from the state's Medicare rolls, he said in confidence, but family notification would be withheld until after the shootings have taken place.
The GOP now has total control of the Ohio legislature and governor's office. The unnamed "source" explained that soaring budget deficits threaten the party's efforts to eliminate the Ohio estate tax, a tariff that could lower the income of some of the state's multi-millionaires by as much as several thousand dollars.
"There are simply too many Ohioans turning 65 to allow this to continue," the source said. "Clearly those who have not accumulated at least $2 million by the time they become seniors have no right to continue to live, let alone to impinge on those who, by the force of their efforts and the grace of God, have become acceptably rich."