Intel Corporation and the State of Ohio sealed their marriage on Friday with the officiant flying in on Air Force One just in time to pronounce the happy couple forever joined at the chip.
The groom, Intel CEO Pat Gelsinger, had thrown a public tantrum in early July, calling off the scheduled ceremony because the bride’s Uncle Sam went on vacation without leaving a credit card number to provide the dowry. He even threatened to elope to Europe with another bride.
But there was no mention of that hiccup on this sunny September morning in New Albany, Ohio. The couple dozen attendants each gave a speech predicting the most productive marriage ever of any global corporate power and lonely rust belt state.
Billed as a groundbreaking ceremony, a good deal of ground had been broken before the ceremony began. Earthmovers were lined up around the temporary outdoor seating area, parked in neat rows nearby for aerial cameras to capture, and occasionally paraded behind the speakers, who were each announced by Jerry Revish while the Best Damn Band in the Land played the Ohio State fight song.