Eye-yii-yii! I’m trying to tell myself that I’m still learning about life, not drifting into doesn’t-matterness. You know, asleep on the couch in the middle of the day.
Cataract surgery on my second eye (the rightie) was almost a week ago now and it went well. my vision seems slightly more enthusiastic. Biggest noticeable change: I can read captions on the TV screen without my glasses, which suddenly don’t help with that at all, though I still need them for ordinary reading.
What’s going on with my life right now feels larger than post-cataract-surgery recovery . . . so much larger that I don’t want to write about it, but feel I must do so because I want to write about something. As I cuddle myself at my sister’s kitchen table with this notebook, feeling lost and subjectless, I nonetheless sense a return of emotional energy – simply because I’m doing something . . . so I hope, so I pray . . . that matters.
When that sense vanishes from my life, what happens isn’t just an emotional crash. The crash I feel is also physical. I start losing the will to stay awake! This is a phenomenon I’ve never experienced before in my life, or read about anywhere.
