Sweet lord, spring has sprung! By the time you read this, Memorial Day will be past and it will probably already be too goddamn hot. Clouds of mosquitos will have descended, and hundreds of home recording enthusiasts will emerge blinking into the sunlight with demo tapes no one wants to hear. It’s the time of year for outdoor concerts and music festivals, and your weird neighbor will be already packing up for Nelsonville and demanding you babysit his pet squirrel for inadequate compensation.
  Which is a good thing. Maybe. But before you toddle off to the Scioto Mile Concert Series on a humid June evening, we feel obligated to once again remind you of the festering danger that lurks in an otherwise innocuous world of flip-flops and plastic Bud Light bottles. Remember, friends, even the adorable male platypus has a venomous spur on its hind foot. That’s right; this is your annual warning about smooth jazz.

White Wing Bakery is an exciting new all natural, handcrafted vegan and gluten-free bakery entry into the Columbus farmer’s market scene at 400 W. Rich appearing every other Saturday as of May 9th 2015 through the summer months. The menu includes exotic and adventurous twists on some classic favorites such as: toasted almond caramel cupcakes with brown butter-cream frosting, raspberry cocoa nib flourless mocha torte, Thai lemongrass - coconut cupcakes with lime frosting, Massaman curry peanut butter cookies, lemon blueberry cornmeal cookies, lavender - rosemary sugar cookies and banana chocolate chip cookies. They do also take special and custom orders for parties and events.

Ralph Walters was once a normal guy.  But then something bizarre happened. A retired elementary school Spanish teacher bit him on the arm, giving him the simple power of speaking really bad introductory Spanish. He also gained a new name: “El Derango.”   

  Walters is actually the manager of the Artist’s Wrestling League (AWL). It is a painting match taking place this month at the Vanderelli Room in Franklinton, during Columbus’ June Arts Festival. He is also a wrestler in the match. The wrestlers do not really wrestle; they are local painters who publicly paint against one another.

  Each wrestler has a pseudonym, complete with a self-created back story, such as “Machete Page.” She is a lush and the bastard granddaughter of Betty Page. “KatTaztrophy” is a drummer, who thinks she is a cat and only paints with her paw prints. “Jimmy ‘Wildman’ Folk” paints with an axe, and “Sister Sangre” is a nun, who only paints Jesus.

  “Most of the wrestlers are really into their characters,” Walters said. “We have a lot of fun together.”

  And that is why the whole thing started – just for fun.

At a recent gathering some homosexual men were discussing the salary one spends on an engagement ring. “Someone told me four months, but I think it’s only two. Yeah, but she wants a ring from Tiffany’s.”

  Sound familiar? Gays discuss the same things about marriage as heterosexuals, but in Ohio without the hope of actually getting married. Bret Richards (a.k.a. Hellin Bedd) and her partner David Cullison, both of Columbus, have been dating for 16 years and engaged for a year and a half. Richards said they might get married if it is ever legal, but it is not critical.
  “For us, it’s not the desperation to get married,” Richards said. “A segment of the gay population romanticizes it. We have friends in their second and third marriages and we see a lot of couples break up young. I could care less if we get married or not – our relationship won’t change. The main thing is having the ability like everyone else.”

  “We could stand up, have a have a party and profess our love for each other, but we do that every night,” Cullison said.

Elder Michael Reeves, Pastor of Corinthian Baptist Church, led off a January mayoral candidates debate co-sponsored by the Coalition of Concerned Black Citizens and elder stateswoman Ann B. Walker by saying “we did this forum because we have not seen a political agenda for Black Columbus, and wanted all the candidates to know that we expect them to address issues of interest to the Columbus black community.” The most surprising thing about this statement coming as the city’s first Black Mayor is preparing to retire, is that it was not a controversial statement whatsoever to the audience.