President Donald Trump has announced that a massive new homeless shelter and soup kitchen will replace the East Wing of the White House, which he has demolished.
“This 90,000 square foot structure which I am building without any process or approval from the American people or Congress will stand as human history’s greatest single monument to kindness and charity.
“This kingly project will certainly win me the Nobel Prize, whose proceeds I will donate toward the expense of housing and feeding hundreds of humans suffering under the weight of the billionaire bonanza that is my regime.”
Trump explains that “throughout history, great men like myself have devoted ourselves to empathy, compassion, kindness and charity.
“Thus the re-made White House will cement my status as the best American Dictator ever.”
Trump says he and his fellow oligarchs promise (without putting up any actual collateral) to fund the structure, now projected to cost about one-third of a billion dollars, roughly what he’s suing the federal government for as compensation for his having been investigated for his 2021 attempt to seize the federal government.